Experiencing a devastating change in a relationship due to illness has both short and long-term impacts on the care partner(s). Whether you are a spouse, partner, child, or friend, when a loved one is diagnosed with an unchangeable illness or disability, your life changes too. And, not likely as you planned.
In November 2020, my husband of twenty-seven years was diagnosed with a life-altering illness, memory loss due to a mixed diagnosis of Alzheimer’s disease and cerebral vascular disease.
While we found many resources for him, I searched for books, articles, and studies to help me deal with the news as well as the emotions and changes that I was experiencing as his partner. I found a lot of to-do books on how to be a good caregiver. But, I did not find a lot of material that captured how I was truly feeling.
About six months after his diagnosis, I met with an internist at the Mayo Clinic and shared how I felt and that I was not coping well. She was the first person to whom I spoke the words out loud, “I’m really struggling.” She quietly said, “You need to figure out how to come out of this whole.” Boom – there it was. Not only did I need to worry about Donn, but I also needed to figure out how to keep myself going and thriving.
This was a personal transformation that I did not choose. But, it was going to occur whether I wanted it or not.
So, I started writing. I include on this site a series of essays relating to my thoughts, feelings and actions following Donn’s diagnosis. These essays are my way of trying to regain my sense of self and figure out how to navigate this change for him and me. I thought about various issues each night as I walked alone, trying to make sense of my thoughts. On these walks, I was only accompanied by my iTunes playlist. On this site, I also feature some of my daily musings and some inspirational quotes from others.
In 2020, more than fifty-three million Americans were care partners for their spouses, parents, children, and other family members.
Caregiving in the U.S. 2020 report from AARP and the National Alliance for Caregiving (NAC)
These thoughts and essays are for you and me.
Here is to our journeys.
And to feel not so alone as a care partner.
In solidarity and support,
Celeste
xoxoxox
p.s. If you like to peek ahead, please visit the coming soon page to see what essays will be posted in the future. And, I would always love to hear from you directly either in the comments section for each essay or by email celesteanddonn@theplaylistjourney.com.
The Playlist: Walking my way through love, loss and renewal 